


If You Need Me, I Will

by BasicallyACat



Category: One Piece
Genre: Blood and Violence, Blood as a metaphor, Canon Compliant, Dressrosa Arc, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia, Introspection, Law has issues, Literal Sleeping Together, Luffy is in love, M/M, Nonverbal Communication, Pining, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Time Skip, Slow Burn, i guess, this is basically Law feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:41:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24534772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasicallyACat/pseuds/BasicallyACat
Summary: Luffy can't find the words to describe all the things he feels, couldn't say them even if he found them. He knows people don't understand him usually and doesn't really mind. His nakama understand and that is all that matters.When he meets Law, suddenly there are far too many things to say even when he can't and Luffy prays Law can understand anyways.
Relationships: Monkey D. Luffy/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 21
Kudos: 255





	If You Need Me, I Will

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first thing I have written, and completed, in a very long time.  
> You have been warned.  
> Basically, someone mentioned forms of autism that affected communication/social skills/ect and I thought "huh, Luffy really sucks at those things" and this happened.  
> This is loosely during the time after Punk Hazard up until the end of Dressrosa.

* * *

_“I swear, I’ll burn this whole city down just to show you the light.”_

_\- Fall Out Boy_

Luffy had never been particularly good with words. Living with mountain bandits did not leave much room for eloquence but even beyond that he found himself stumbling, reaching for the sounds to explain what felt obvious to him. He knew what he knew, trusted himself to find the answers if not the words. Ace had told him not to worry about it, that anyone who wanted to understand would; whether Luffy remembered to say things out loud. He forgot a lot.

It was just how he was. He lived life through impressions, moments pressed into his skin or tasted on his tongue. He listened to his gut, felt it in his chest when something was important. Saw the world with eyes willing to see more than what could be labeled and pinned down by dictionaries or text. Maybe he couldn’t tell everything about the members of his crew, but he could differ how they all felt. He felt and saw each one in more ways than just their face or the sound of their voice. To him Zoro was the colors green and crimson, he was the sound of steel hissing, the burn of alcohol to the back of the throat. To him Zoro was strength, broad shoulders and skin that burned with power as it moved. He was the scent of sweat and days in the sun, the feeling of arms wrapped around shoulders.

He knew them all this way, experienced the people he loved the most with his entire being, tried to take in as much of them as he could, hold it all as close as he could. He wasn’t good with words so he smiled, pressed hands into backs, leaned into shoulders to tell them all the things he knew and felt to be true. Sometimes it was hard, his friends were all different and had experienced different things, it took time for them to make sense of what he didn’t say with his voice, but rather spoke in actions. (With the exception of Zoro, because Zoro spoke with his eyes and tilt of his lips and Luffy never worried if his first mate understood) Sometimes Luffy had to make them understand with cuts and bruises on his body, blood spilled on the ground in declaration. He didn’t mind. He didn’t mind bleeding for his friends, and bruises only really meant that he was a live right?

Eventually though, just like his brother had told him such a long time ago, they understood.

Robin hummed softly, passed her hands through his hair when he leaned his head against her thigh on tired days.

Nami would pat his cheek, roll her eyes at his pouts, smile in the quiet spaces between them. 

Sanji tended to just look at him, smoke curling from lips before nodding or shaking his head, answering whatever question Luffy had but simply couldn’t ask.

Luffy knew he had the most amazing crew. Had known since the moment he met each member but couldn’t help but marvel at the brilliance of them now and then. In the time they had been apart, and he had been left with only stale memories he realized how lucky he was. Lucky to be able to experience these people on this ship in this lifetime. He loved them all in a way that felt like mountains contained in his chest, like the ocean two weeks from land at dawn.

And then there was Law.

Law was- _Oh_! He was gold. He was the deepest shade of black, white patches of skin that glowed in moonlight. He was the metallic heavy scent of blood broken by the spice that clung to his skin. A burning horrible ache in Luffy’s chest, cold soothing fingers against the fever of his skin. Law was careful, precise orderly movement, selected words and clean lines. The sound of boots against wood, blue ethereal light and black ink. Law was so many things, too many things impressed into Luffy’s mind, too many things he couldn’t resist soaking up hungerly.

Their history was vague but there. Luffy had a picture in his mind of who and what Trafalager Law was up until the moment the man himself stepped foot onto the Sunny and everything changed. Every twist of lips, every twitch or furrow of an eyebrow and there was more to know, more to take. Law would blink gold molten eyes and Luffy would _see_. The arch of his spine fascinated, the span of his shoulders against the backdrop of the ocean was distracting.

Luffy was a little obsessed.

He knew he was, knew he shouldn’t be, knew that it was probably weird, but was completely unable to stop himself.

It was the pain, that had drawn him to the other man to begin with. A curdled and twisted darkness clung to Law’s chest, dug deep into his brain, and wrapped around his throat. Luffy had noticed that very first time, when Law had flashed smiles sharp as razors and words meant to be dangerous. He had noticed and wondered, marveled, worried, over what could have possibly done so much damage to a man so strong. If there hadn’t been so much going on he probably would have gone in search of the answer. Would have followed the tug in his chest, the same one that always told him when someone was important and to stop. Listen. Look.

There simply wasn’t time.

And then later, when Luffy was drowning in his own darkness, choking on all the regret he had never felt before Law had been there. Law had been right there with cold steady hands against a broken bloody body, and Luffy couldn’t. He couldn’t hear over the screaming of his own mind, couldn’t see anything beyond the memories burned into the back of his eye lids. He had been left with just that cold impression of skin, the smell of blood. ‘ _Mugiwara’._

It had been with no small amount of joy when he saw Law again. He would have said yes to almost anything the man had asked in the moment because that tug on his chest was back. Luffy wasn’t broken any more but those cracks in Law’s voice no else seemed to notice were still there. Law was still locked up in pain, somehow just as tragically fascinating as the very first time they met. Luffy stared and stared and ached because how long had Law been living live this? How long had he been carrying all of that weight around? How could he possibly still be standing, fighting, _living_ with so pain cutting into him?

In Luffy’s mind it felt like Nami when they first met, almost. Nami had been fire and the tension before a thunderstorm, her smiles lethal. But she had been so incredibly sad, so horribly alone Luffy had no choice but to stand by her side, hold out his hand and wait -no matter how long it took- until she realized it was okay to take it.

Law was like that, but so, so much deeper. Law reminded Luffy of blood not just because he was a doctor but because he was soaked in it, every inch, ever strand of hair was bloody from years and years of being drenched in it. Luffy had no idea how someone just a little older than he was ended up that way, didn’t need to know but oh how he wished he knew how to fix it. There probably wasn’t a way, but the pull in his chest, the memory of cold fingers and _gold_ burning into him demanded he at least try.

He wanted to know what Law’s smile looked like when it wasn’t vicious. He wanted to hear Law’s voice without weight pressing the words back down. He thought about cold hands and tattooed skin, white scars slithering amongst the black. He thought about the power of a man who thought he had nothing left to lose- decided he hated it. Decided that Law had everything to live for and that he would find a way to show him that.

He didn’t sleep much- or at all Luffy noticed, watched the dark circles beneath Law’s eyes bruise and bloom against tan skin. He thought he might know why, might be able to blame all those regrets lurking on the edges of Law’s sigh. Might even be able to relate because he hadn’t slept much after Marineford; all of the sounds, tastes, sights, feelings of the place had been too much for him. Alone in the woods he had spent days wandering around, afraid to experience it all again once he closed his eyes. It had gotten easier if not better as time had gone by, and now he was back with his friends and that made it a whole lot easier. Now when the memories come to drag him back in time he could get up, clamor into the bunk above his or beside, cram himself in the Luffy sized spaces under Zoro’s arm or against Sanji’s back and remember that he was still in the present. It was easier when there was another heartbeat to focus on, when there was another person alive and breathing and _there_.

He wondered if Law knew that, wondered if the other man would allow him to show him.

Law did and did not like touching, Luffy figured. He didn’t in the way his whole body tensed, tightly restrained with an iron focus. He did in the way his breath would hitch, surprised maybe to find himself still able to feel the heat of another person’s skin. He didn’t like to be touched when he was upset, overwhelmed and fighting against himself not to be, the sensation of another person seemed to be too much for the controlled man. He did like to be touched when he had spent too much time in his head, memories clawing at his throat up until the moment he is reminded where he actually was. Luffy really hated when that happened, hated to see the shine in Law’s eyes so dampened so he made a point to always break in. He would use his voice, hands, body, everything to shatter whatever doubts or insecurities he pretended not to notice and smiled at the very small flash of gratitude Law showed him for the effort.

He tried to smile for Law as often as possible.

The night before they made it to Dressrosa Law looked tired, and Luffy made a decision. He beelined to where the other man was staring, staring far out passed the sea, sky and stars towards something Luffy knew hurt and ached but was impossible not to look for. He knew because he found himself staring too sometimes, out towards the smell of wood smoke, freckled sunburnt skin, oaths spoken in innocence and wonder. It was hard to turn away from.

He reached for cold hands, smiled as long slender fingers slotted between his that he squeezed as their owner leaned away. Law always leaned away, never in, never closer. Luffy tried to make up the distance. He looked up into Law’s face, wondered if he should bother trying to say any of the things bouncing around in his chest. Law stared back, wary, cautious, so very tired.

Luffy pulled on his hand, walked backwards with a grin.

“Come on Traffy,” he said. Law frowned, let his arm be pulled to its full length before his feet reluctantly followed. Careful steps, slow and measured. Law always held on to himself so tightly, like he was afraid he would fall apart otherwise. Luffy understood, wished Law could.

“Where?” Law had a delicious sounding kind of voice. Textured and deep enough to be felt Luffy wanted to taste it, lick it off of Law’s lips, swallow it whole. Not now though. Now wasn’t about what he wanted but rather about the list of things that Law needed. Right now, was about Law.

He chuckled, nervous and a little worried and delighted by it. Forgot he should probably be speaking.

He liked the way Law’s hand felt in his. Liked the sound of those footsteps behind him as he led the way into the empty infirmary, already prepared after a soft conversation with Chopper earlier. A small lamp burned low on the desk, a freshly plumped pillow lay on the bed, Luffy’s own light blanket spread beneath. He pulled further into the room, laughing softly as gold eyes searched his for answers. He liked when Law looked at him like that, liked that it meant the other man was trying to understand, meant that he wanted to at all. Law was always trying to dissect everything in his brain, always thinking so much over every little thing. It made teasing him all the more fun.

His heart was pounding a bit, making him feel giddy- young, reckless and maybe a little stupid. The ambiance of the room felt pressured as he pressed his hands hard into Law’s shoulders, sending the man down onto the soft bed with a surprised huff. Annoyed and alarmed the surgeon opened lips to protest, probably curse and complain like usual but Luffy stopped him with a hand on his chest, a firm shove until his back hit the mattress. Luffy followed him, pinned Law in place with his hand and his gaze, made sure the man was _paying attention_.

For a moment Luffy hovered over him, soaked up the sight of wide eyes glinting in the low light, messy dark hair spread on his own blanket, the slightest tinge of red on high cheekbones. Law looked up at him like he was waiting for a bomb to go off, like he had already made up his mind how to diffuse it. There was an anxious kind of fear in the flutter of dark lashes, pounding questions in the rhythm of the heartbeat Luffy felt beneath his palm. The moment stretched, Luffy tried to commit it all to memory _just in case_.

He smiled for Law, didn’t bother to keep the tease out of it.

“Sleep, Traffy,” he leaned off the bed, crouched down to pull off the other mans boots. The room felt too hot, making him snicker quietly because it could easily be something else. It felt cliché and stilted and he loved it. Above him Law lay still, oddly not even complaining as Luffy took off his shoes, remained quiet as Luffy kicked off his own, shimmed out of his shirt. It wasn’t until Luffy turned to eye Law’s heavy jacket that the other man seemed to gather enough strength to move again. He sighed, sat up to peel the garment off with tired sluggish movement. Luffy watched, traced black lines on scared skin.

“Do you ever sleep on the bear? I bet he’s comfy.”

Law tossed his jacket on the floor, hat to follow, placed Kikoku on top softly. The dim light created deep hollows along his cheeks, hooded his eyes and left him looking haunted. He ran a hand through his hair let out a weak breath. It had to be a testimony on how truly exhausted he was that there wasn’t any venom in his words, no fight at all left in the bend of his spine.

“Sometimes. He is comfortable.”

Luffy smiled to cover the twist in his chest, moved to crawl on the bed to stop his hands from reaching out too soon. He had to be careful here, had to move slowly. The air tasted fragile between them as he sat against the wall, kicked the blanket over his legs. He placed a hand on the empty space besides him, looked up Law, waited.

“Sleep,” he said again, firmer.

He watched the last of Law’s resolve crumble, released between parted lips with an annoyed scoff. Annoyed not at Luffy, but at himself – always himself.

“Whatever.”

He was frowning, eyes closed as his head finally hit the pillow with a huff, his back pressed lightly into Luffy’s thigh. The infirmary bed wasn’t very big, but neither were the bunks in the men’s quarters and Luffy had managed to fit in one even with Zoro’s bulk. Law was taller than Zoro, but slimmer, his limbs long and tight. The span of his shoulders was highlighted by the still burning lamp as Luffy wiggled into place behind them. He resisted his usual habit of clinging, knew somehow that Law had been pushed enough for one night. He settled for placing a soft hand on the grinning ink between Law’s shoulder blades, hoped it was enough to ground the man even while dreaming, smiled into the pillow and closed his eyes thinking about how the light reflected off Law’s earrings.

Law was supposed to be with them, there was no doubt in his mind. Which meant that Luffy needed him and Law needed Luffy. There were things they were supposed to give each other, things they were supposed to share. Luffy knew this was the same certainty that he knew most things; from his gut, held in his chest.

Law needed Luffy to fight so he did that. Would have done it anyway. Luffy needed Law to trust him and eventually, grudgingly, tediously, Law did. Once again Law was soaked through with blood- his and not his- and Luffy screamed at the frustration of it. Luffy screamed and fought, broke and pulled himself back together. He found out some of the secrets he hadn’t needed to be told but carried them anyway, cherished them. He saw the past and the pain and the cause of all of that blood staining Law’s soul. Wanted to destroy it.

The sound of Law raw, tortured, and so, so close to giving in was a sound Luffy never wanted to know. He pressed it close to his heart where he kept Zoro’s defeat, Nami’s tears, Usopp’s fear, Chopper’s scars, and Robin’s solitude, and promised to never forget it - never let it happen again.

Luffy was greedy. He was selfish when it came to the people he cared about, always wanted to keep them close to his side where he felt like they belonged. He was greedy because he wanted them to be happy always, wanted them to look forward and dream and live to the best of their possibilities. He was selfish because he wanted to be there, to see them achieve all the things they ever wanted.

From Law though, from Law he was greedy for a lot of things. He wanted, craved and waited because he had to. Had to wait because there were so many things Law needed before they could get to the things Luffy wanted. Patience wasn’t something he was known for but maybe, maybe he didn’t mind waiting for this.

The morning after he destroyed the last of Law’s living nightmares, he found the man sitting in the chill of dawn, bathed in light as golden as he was. Luffy stopped beside him and looked, listened. A hopelessness, a lost look into the arriving sun, tension between black brows. Slim tattooed fingers clutched a bandaged arm in a grip Luffy was fairly sure hurt.

Law looked cold. Luffy sat down, pressed their sides together and reached to cover trembling fingers with his own, pried them off stained white cloth, twined them together with his own.

He listened to air stutter, rattle, lurch in and out of Law’s lungs. He felt a typically straight spine slowly bend, creaking in protest as Law’s head fell onto a willing shoulder. He inhaled the spicy scent he recognized as Law’s, pressed a smile into black strands. Waited.

“Thank you,” Law said.

Luffy laughed because there wasn’t any reason for thanks. He wasn’t very good with words, didn’t know how to explain. Instead he pressed just a little closer, offered the warmth of his skin to fight off the damp morning air and hoped Law understood.

Law’s fingers tightened, gripped Luffy’s with a kind of desperation as the man leaned against him just a little more, accepted Luffy’s warmth openly and without restraint.

He understood. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading my random overflow of Law/Lu feels <3  
> I hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> If you want I have a fic rec blog here -> waytoomuchfanfiction.tumblr.com


End file.
